Empathy

I know you are tired of getting put down by life; you just need a spot where you can kick it with your friends, a spot where you can belong, just for you. A place where you don’t need to prove your worth to belong. You feel trapped; family isn’t family anymore, they are your pall bearers. Friends aren’t friends anymore, they are busy working at your eulogy waiting for when you finally land on your shadow. Your enemies, well no love lost there just a bit of competition to see who gets to you first. Those you love… that’s the most painful part about it. They wield the knives that they will drive through your heart… until all sense of self is lost.

You want a place to spend your quiet nights and have them too, time to unwind from the pressures of life. You have cried yourself to sleep and have once or twice contemplated suicide. You could have tried but when you did all you could see were the few that really care and their sad faces. Those who could not save a life when they did not have an idea it needed saving. No one knows your struggles, they only see the trouble you have caused and the smile that you always have. They have no idea how hard it is to carry on when no one seems to love you. They cant picture you in misery because they have never seen what you have or felt what you have, probably no man alive has ever witnessed struggles you have survived.You have been praying hard for better days but each day proves to be the worst day of your life.

All your days are full of soliloquies; will I survive all the fights and the darkness? When trouble sparks, they tell you home is where the heart is but it departed from you, has been away for long. You cry dry tears because your tears dried up a while back. Nobody cares, it seems or are you just a victim of things you tried to maintain? Relationships and family ties that keep holding you down. All you need is a place to rest your head. But will you be peaceful? You just need a house that’s full of love to escape the deadly places of anger and hurt. Desperate isn’t it?

Now Breath, just breath …

Someday, this will be a bad memory and a bad dream even. you will wake up and see the sun shining on your face. you will appreciate the cold breeze in the morning because it intrudes all the warmth and love suffocating you. Someday your tears will make an appearance to supplement the shortness of breath you have when you laugh too hard. Someday you will leave that depressed state and relegate it to movies alone. Some day sad will be a conversational annotation but no meaning in emotion. Someday your break will come. It is darkest before dawn and when the day breaks, your nights will never be dark but moon lit and full of starlights.

Someday you will have your Eureka moment, I hope you won’t run out of the shower naked but you will have adequate time to pack up and leave. Leave all the anger, bitterness, hurt and sorrow and carry an empty slate with you. Some day you will get it right like the wright brothers and you will cause things to levitate your way against gravity. Someday, you will have the midas touch, all you will touch will be gold and all will be in awe of you.

I believe you have been down but you are definately not out. I wont tell you to dust it off and try again… you have done this too many times before and your will has been broken to bits. Things have not been like you thought it would be and all this stress could never have been anticipated. It does not seem like God’s design either. So stay down. Yes, I said stay down you are almost at the best part, you too can pass the test of time. It hasn’t been the best and probably the worst is yet to come. The drama will not last forever. Someday you will look back and say there was a time and it will make you smile because you stayed down and let the storm blow over. So stay down and believe it isn’t over for you…not yet.