I have been a bad person. We all have but I more than most. I am ashamed of my actions but more so the guilt than the deed. You see when trust is given it is expected back and when it is not, it is only a matter of time, sand through the hour glass. Trust karma to give me the creeps each waking morning. It never left my mind though; the day of reckoning will come. When I see you here with me, I have the feeling it will be soon.
I did not know you beyond Adam but that holds no water now, we are acquainted already. I did not care for you; just another statistic on the graph, pedestrian on the street and stranger at the supermarket, known unknown if you may. I did not give you a moment’s notice; you were just another everyday face that happened to be occupying the same part of the globe as me at a time unspecified.
Yet here I am, feeling bad and being afraid of what a confession might do to me and you. You; whom I cared not for, whom I knew not and whom mattered not to me. I have a feeling this is a little too late and it probably doesn’t matter any way but I have to unload from my chest. I will readily accept your offer for my penance if only it will purge the grieving heart.
They say we look good together and I am inclined to agree. We did start off with a smile and all the envy we could get. The fireworks and crackers made sure they knew we were coming. I am afraid though that if we continue living this lie then I might never come to realise the pleasure of fulfilment and accomplishment. My guilt may be my suicide note and my demise your salvation at the price of a noose. The sad reality is that upon my demise there will be many suitors for your hand and your grief for me be reduced to a fleeting whimper and I will remain a memory, the one that fell short of your hand.
I can’t let that happen though, my pride is too overbearing to give them the satisfaction and besides you have grown to mean so much to me these last few days that I can’t imagine not getting over this stump. Let’s walk toward the sunset even though the sun just rose, from our genesis to revelation from Eden through the desert into the Promised Land.
I know I will be happy through you 2012.
donmu2ua 